Dear Old Dad
This book is about the beautiful relationship that can exist between a daughter and a dad. The author, Dr. Kevin Leman, is the well-known author of numerous birth order books. He is also the father of five children–four of them girls–so he has lots of first-hand knowledge in the parenting department. He has written this book so that dads and daughters can achieve a strong bond with each other. Whether your daughter is a new born, or an adult with children of her own, this book is useful. It is never too late to improve a father-daughter relationship.
The crux of the relationship between the two is love. A daughter craves the love of her father. Relationships go wrong when that love either doesn’t exist, or isn’t communicated in a way that the daughter understands. Miscommunication can take place for a lot of reasons. A father may love his daughter, but be emotionally distant. The daughter may interpret that as a lack of love for her. Another problem can be the result of divorce. When parents part, daughters may, rightly or wrongly, feel cast off, and no longer loved by their fathers.
A very important thing for a dad to do is learn who their daughter is, understand how she communicates. Most of all remember she is not a boy. However a dad might naturally interact, and it may work wonderfully with a son, it is probably not going to work with a girl. This book offers very easy ways for a dad to learn how to speak his child’s language, and get on the same page with his daughter. It may take a small amount of work, but the reward of creating a close bond between dad and daughter will outweigh the effort.
The author writes in a very easy-to-read and understandable way. He offers lots of simple, down-to-earth advice for the reader to use to make relationships blossom. For instance, the author states that when a dad interacts with his daughter he should always keep in mind the “Top Four Do’s for Dad.” They are:
Listen to her.
Take your cues from her.
Don’t assume anything…ever.
Be gentle.
The author discusses all of these, but especially emphasizes the gentle recommendation. Dr. Leman states that when men are in stressful situations they may be loud and overbearing. Acting like that with his daughter will make her quickly shut down. The author recommends the dad should say what he wants, but in a calm and quiet way. That will greatly increase the chance of his child and him working things out.
A strong relationship between a daughter and dad is an enjoyable experience, but that relationship has far reaching consequences, too. The author states that the better the father-daughter relationship is, the higher the daughter’s self-esteem will be. Also she will make better choices in life, have more positive behavior, and ultimately make a wiser selection in marriage. So the father-daughter bond is life altering in either a very positive way, if things are good between father and child, or a negative way, if there is not a good relationship between the two.
Even though this volume is geared towards fathers, it would be helpful and interesting for women to read it as well. Speaking from my own experience, I can attest to how important my relationship with my own father was. I was blessed to have a father that was involved in my life. He cared about me, and I knew that. I didn’t make perfect choices all the time, but I can only imagine what I would have been like without him–it would not have been good. He left this world six years ago, and I miss him every day. I highly recommend this 5-star book to anyone who wants a better relationship with their female children.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from BookLook Bloggers through Thomas Nelson Publishing for the purpose of review. I have not been compensated in any other manner. All opinions expressed are my own, and I was not required, or influenced, to give anything but an honest appraisal.
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Author’s Blog: http://www.birthorderguy.com/about/
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